Why Dating is Hard on a Woman’s Heart
Dating requires hope
Dating can be hard on a woman’s heart because dating requires hope, We need to be optimistic that we will find the person we want, and hopeful about each date. However, what happens to that hope while we are dating?
Hopes raised and dashed
- Hopes are raised by the fantasy of a guy’s potential
- We make a date with a man who looks like he could be special.
- He’s a counselor, so he’s sensitive! We both like to hike!
- We fantasize about what a great match we are for each other.
- He’ll see how well I listen, how much I love hiking!
- We make a date with a man who looks like he could be special.
- Hopes are dashed by the reality of the guy
- We meet him and don’t like him.
- He talks loudly about himself and doesn’t ask any questions.
- We meet him and like him a lot, but he doesn’t want another date.
- He’s perfect! we think. “I’ve decided we’re not a match,” he says.
- We meet him and don’t like him.
Dating can be wearing on a woman’s heart
Until we find the right person, our hopes are raised and dashed over and over, wearing away our women’s hearts like ocean waves eating away at a heart on the sand.
Dating plus sex is even harder
The pain of hopes raised and dashed is compounded if we make love with a man on an early date, and then either he or we decide that we aren’t a match.
Ouch! Our hearts can be pierced by rejection at any time, but the deeper we feel the attraction and longing, the more we become attached to the fantasy of the guy’s potential, and the deeper we can be hurt by the reality.
QUESTION for YOU: When have your hopes been raised by a fantasy and dashed by reality? (Answer in comments)
How to protect a woman’s heart while dating
The good news! There are ways to protect our hearts from the waves of hopes raised and dashed, while staying nurtured and open to love. Read my post, 6 Ways to Protect and Nurture Your Heart.
Goals of this blog
I want to inspire women, especially older women, to enjoy dating and find the right partner for them. I share my stories and insights in hopes of encouraging all women to be brave, in dating, or in any part of their life. Thanks for joining me on this journey! The story of my own dating journey can be found in my memoir, Fifty First Dates After Fifty.